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Post by Jessica on Jun 4, 2021 6:51:32 GMT
Hello All,
After a significant amount of activity the first couple days, I am beginning to worry that this place isn't ever going to gain any traction. I am not giving up though. Through conversations with a friend, I think I came to a clearer idea of why I wanted to put this together. I am going to lay it out as best I can and pin this thread to the top of the forum so people get the idea.
I don't know whether or not I am trans, but I have this feminine secret, this other side of me that wants to come out and express herself. I am happy with my life as it is. I am (among other things) a husband, a father, and an avid sports fan. I have built a good life as a man and have no intention of uprooting it to change my gender. However, there is this other person inside of me.....Jessica.....and she wants out too. I have these dreams, fantasies about what my life would have been like if I had been born a girl. And if I had the chance.....if a genie came out of the bottle and said...."I can do this for you"....I would probably take it. The way I see it, everyone has things about their life they wish were different. But often times those things aren't worth the risk of addressing. Maybe you don't like the color of your hair, or wish you had a smaller nose, or you wish you lived in another country, or you decided at 40 that you would rather have been a stripper than an accountant. There are ways to go after those things......and some people do.....but some people decide that it just isn't worth it. The life you have now isn't worth uprooting to make the change. All things equal, I think I'd rather be female. But I've built too good a life for myself to transition and I am happy and OK with that. Does that make me trans? I don't know.
I think there are a lot of men out there who feel like me. I think there has to be. Maybe they're on different parts of the "trans spectrum". Maybe it is a kink or a fantasy, maybe they are genderfluid, maybe they just have a very strong feminine side they don't have the ability to express, or maybe they feel like a fully transgender person who just isn't going to make the transition for whatever reason. There is not currently a place on the internet that brings this group together. But I think it would be so great if there was. A place where we can just let that part of us breathe. I have to believe it would be healthy! An outlet! And that is why I created this place. I want to be able to share this feeling, this experience with others who understand not only how I feel and who I am, but also the circumstances I find myself in.
So I think the name "Closeted Trans Girls" might be a misnomer. A more accurate title would be, "Place where guys with a girly secret of any kind can come to express themselves and let that side of them out". That doesn't really roll off the tongue as nicely haha. Regardless, I hope folks find their way here because I really think it could be an awesome place.
Hugs, Jessica
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Post by Lily on Jun 16, 2021 20:06:58 GMT
Hi Jessica, I came here via Emory Ahlberg's post. Thank you for creating this forum.
I think I definitely come under the "guys with a girly secret" category. I am fine being a guy and being seen as one. Indeed I have been taken for a woman a couple of times (it was the long hair) and didn't like it. However I do like the idea of dressing like a woman, and prettying myself up, not so much to be seen by anyone else, but more for myself. I have sometimes looked at the clothes in the women's section of department stores and wished that I could wear the pretty dresses and outfits that I see, It is also definitely a kink for me as well, and get turned on by the idea of being a feminised man. I have never told anyone about any of this.
Last night before I went to sleep I thought that I'd like at least one person that knew me to know this side of me. I genuinely don't think my family (2 siblings and 3 adult nieces/nephews) would understand. Neither would by best friend, who has expressed bigoted comments about this subject in the past. This morning I dismissed that idea of telling someone as just a foolish thought that you have before you go to sleep, but seeing Emory's post and your words made me reconsider. So if nothing else I have expressed this side of me to others for the first time. So thank you again.
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Post by francie on Jun 16, 2021 20:39:45 GMT
Hey Woori welcome and that was a touching introduction that this girl identifies with. So much nicer that we can share and help each other! Hope we can hear more from you. francie 🌺🌺
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Post by Lily on Jun 16, 2021 22:14:10 GMT
Thank you Francie. I think you will hear more. I have surprised myself by how strongly I felt the need to tell somebody. Having taken the first step, I know I have more to express than just that introduction.
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Post by Jessica on Jun 16, 2021 23:33:21 GMT
Hi Jessica, I came here via Emory Ahlberg's post. Thank you for creating this forum. I think I definitely come under the "guys with a girly secret" category. I am fine being a guy and being seen as one. Indeed I have been taken for a woman a couple of times (it was the long hair) and didn't like it. However I do like the idea of dressing like a woman, and prettying myself up, not so much to be seen by anyone else, but more for myself. I have sometimes looked at the clothes in the women's section of department stores and wished that I could wear the pretty dresses and outfits that I see, It is also definitely a kink for me as well, and get turned on by the idea of being a feminised man. I have never told anyone about any of this. Last night before I went to sleep I thought that I'd like at least one person that knew me to know this side of me. I genuinely don't think my family (2 siblings and 3 adult nieces/nephews) would understand. Neither would by best friend, who has expressed bigoted comments about this subject in the past. This morning I dismissed that idea of telling someone as just a foolish thought that you have before you go to sleep, but seeing Emory's post and your words made me reconsider. So if nothing else I have expressed this side of me to others for the first time. So thank you again. Woori you have come to the right place. Welcome. I have that feeling too. I have told literally one person about my secret, someone I was very comfortable with. It went great, but it probably wouldn't have if it wasn't the right person. She wasn't a family member or my best friend, but she was (is) a good friend and the right person for the job. It ended up leading to some fun nights hanging out in her apartment just her and I with me dolled up by her. Shes great. (The story actually inspired one of Emory's caps). This is the exact reason the site was made, so we can just get what we need to get out of our systems with others who understand. I hope you stick around! Great to have you here.
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Post by Lily on Jun 17, 2021 0:24:00 GMT
Thank you for your warm welcome. I have felt so isolated in this for many years. I think there's a lot I want to ask or express now I have the opportunity. Also I feel I'd like to get to know some of you more too
I have a bi friend and was thinking of telling her, but we haven't spoken in years. It's more that I don't want this to be my dirty secret anymore, than any support she might give. I'll have to think about it a bit more and see how I feel.
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Post by francie on Jun 17, 2021 2:25:01 GMT
The only person I confided in was my wife and for years she was supportive and helped me with a few things over years. So I could have nice lingerie, tops and little things but never could I fully dress until one day she said ok. I was so excited and spent hours shaving, doing my make up, nails, and very flattering foundation that made my curves pop! Skinny jeans, knit top, jewelry and my favorite perfume (Estee Lauder's Besutiful of course) and I was ready to come out in an awesome pair of 3 inch pumps! The reaction I got was not what I had hoped for. Dr Jeckyl sprouted from my wife. "All you need is a wig...you really look like a pretty lady..." Seems like I was tricked by some reverse psychology and was now in big trouble. A forced purge and probation with no chance of parole. Of course knowing that I looked "that good" confirmed my inner feelings and desire to be "beautiful." hugs, francie🌺🌺🌺
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Post by Jessica on Jun 18, 2021 15:11:45 GMT
Thank you for your warm welcome. I have felt so isolated in this for many years. I think there's a lot I want to ask or express now I have the opportunity. Also I feel I'd like to get to know some of you more too I have a bi friend and was thinking of telling her, but we haven't spoken in years. It's more that I don't want this to be my dirty secret anymore, than any support she might give. I'll have to think about it a bit more and see how I feel. If I can offer advice, and take it with a grain of salt, but I would say don't tell someone you don't that well just because they're bi. I'd say tell someone you know will handle it well, listen, and keep your secret for you. That was why I chose the person I did. I did it because she is a lovely, nurturing, open minded, (and tbh fiercely liberal) lady.
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Post by Lily on Jun 18, 2021 15:41:38 GMT
I appreciate the sentiment behind your reply I really do, and it applies to anyone thinking of confiding to a friend.
I think I should have said a very good friend who happens to be bi. She matches most of those descriptors for your friend in fact. In the past I think I've been more honest and open with her than I have with anyone else, and I mean anyone else inc. best friends, counsellors, relatives. That was in very different circumstances and in a particularly difficult sitation too. I completely trust her to keep the secret if nothing else.
Not offened or admonishing you in any way, I think I just wanted to sing her praises. I don't think she realises how much a dear and precious friend she is to me.
Anyway because the telling is so difficult, and because she's got a lot on her plate right now, I sent her a link to my original post. That could expose me, but I trust and know that she won't.
ADDENDUM
Jessica I hope I was OK to link here. The whole point of this forum is that it's a safe space for everyone. Though I don't think at all that this would make it less safe, it might make those here feel less safe, which is just as important. I wouldn't want my personal needs to jeopardise that in anyway. I sincerely apologise if that is the case.
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Post by Jessica on Jun 19, 2021 6:53:57 GMT
I wish you the best of luck woori! Sounds like she is a great choice!
I don't think people's safety feels jeopardized by your linking your friend here. If an outsider ever starts making trouble I can and will ban them so no worries.
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Post by Lily on Jun 19, 2021 16:48:22 GMT
I wish you the best of luck woori! Sounds like she is a great choice! I don't think people's safety feels jeopardized by your linking your friend here. If an outsider ever starts making trouble I can and will ban them so no worries. I didn't think that it would, but I just thought I'd say to alleviate the little worry I had. My friend's read the post, and she is fine with it. Because I had been so coy about what I wanted to say, she had been worried what it might be, and so expressed her relief as finally knowing what it exactly was. Before I sent the link, she said that she'd have very little free time in the next two months, and so can't offer any meaningful support right now. She's an artist, and she's had a really big opportunity come her way, and is currently working to very tight schedules. She has said that she will get in touch when things are less hectic for her. I am fine with that. It was more that I wanted someone to know, and am gladdened by the fact there'll be support from a friend somewhere down the line. I am receiving a lot of help here so feel I can wait. I genuinely appreciate all the advice you've given on coming out, Jessica. Thank you.
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Post by Jessica on Jun 19, 2021 19:12:50 GMT
Haha, well as someone who is very much in the closet perhaps I am not the best person to be dispensing advice hahah.
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Post by Lily on Jun 19, 2021 22:13:22 GMT
You had experience of telling your friend though. Which is more than I had. Either way it showed you cared.
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Post by mikerpen on Jun 22, 2021 12:38:19 GMT
I came here as well from reading Emily A's post. I am happily male, but I love the look of a female. I am intrigued by the life I could live if I was female. If someone told me I could magically become an attractive woman, I would do it without hesitation.
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Post by Lily on Jun 22, 2021 13:20:11 GMT
Welcome. Sounds like you certainly fit in around here. I've been here less than a week, and everyone's been so welcoming. Feel free to join in the conversation, or even start one yourself. Hope you stick around.
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