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Post by Lily on Jul 2, 2021 14:28:16 GMT
Maria,
Yes, people take their cues from when the signs appear, that it started happening then, or after a completely unrelated event. Humans being humans think that because X happened after Y that Y caused X, while really X was always going to happen.
I'm going to have to do a thread on this. If only to get these thoughts out of my head. Put it on the page and try to make sense of how I'm feeling. I'm not in turmoil or anything like that, but I just wanted a quiet day. To just put on my cocktail dress and relax.
xox,
Woori-Mei
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Post by Jessica on Jul 2, 2021 14:36:54 GMT
I think my son might end up trans because of me, my brother, and his maternal grandfather have all shown signs of it.
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Post by Maria on Jul 2, 2021 14:45:32 GMT
I think my son might end up trans because of me, my brother, and his maternal grandfather have all shown signs of it. I think I did read somewhere that there is a very slight correlation of it running in families (so like if a parent is trans, then there's a very small increase in likelihood of their child being trans).
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Post by Maria on Jul 2, 2021 14:46:55 GMT
Maria, Yes, people take their cues from when the signs appear, that it started happening then, or after a completely unrelated event. Humans being humans think that because X happened after Y that Y caused X, while really X was always going to happen. I'm going to have to do a thread on this. If only to get these thoughts out of my head. Put it on the page and try to make sense of how I'm feeling. I'm not in turmoil or anything like that, but I just wanted a quiet day. To just put on my cocktail dress and relax. xox, Woori-Mei Sorry for springing this on you on your day of mental recovery! I will be interested to see what thoughts you put down on this. I always find your posts very insightful anyway, but like I said - this is a topic I always find particularly interesting š
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Post by Lily on Jul 2, 2021 15:23:12 GMT
I think I sprung it on myself to be honest. I made the connection with it happening during pregnancy and with my mum having a hard time then. So I delved deeper, and found that yes it happens because of stress. Also I inspired this thread with one of mine. It goes to show how useful it is to pull our collective minds and knowledge together on this. For ideas to bounce off each other. That this couldn't happen in isolation just searching the internet. The question now is what to wear while writing it all
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Post by Maria on Jul 2, 2021 19:27:08 GMT
I think I sprung it on myself to be honest. I made the connection with it happening during pregnancy and with my mum having a hard time then. So I delved deeper, and found that yes it happens because of stress. Also I inspired this thread with one of mine. It goes to show how useful it is to pull our collective minds and knowledge together on this. For ideas to bounce off each other. That this couldn't happen in isolation just searching the internet. The question now is what to wear while writing it all Definitely. The other nice thing being, of course, that when these discoveries happen, we have people to share them with, rather than only being able to think them through in our own heads wondering what they mean. I looked at myself with fresh eyes in the mirror this morning too, after your post yesterday about your figure. I definitely do go in a little at the stomach and then back out at the pelvis. But then I immediately get thinner again as I go down, rather than staying wide through the top of the thighs. So that cheered me up. I think maybe where I took the pictures that made me a little disheartened the other day I was holding my stomach in, so perhaps that caused everything to tighten up and be less obvious. I thought of something else too. At puberty, natal women's pelvises (if I understand this correctly) tilt backwards slightly. I have been told a few different times by medical professionals that I have an "anterior pelvic tilt" - or in easily understandable terms - my pelvis tilts back slightly. I wonder if this is another thing that has developed very slightly different than it "should" have done were I a cis male, or whether I subconsciously started to deliberately angle it myself, as my subconscious knew that that is what it should look like for my correct gender.
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Post by Lily on Jul 2, 2021 20:05:33 GMT
With how you looked in the mirror - I think it can be those subtle things that make a difference for trans girls. A slight adjustment in hair, cut of clothes or posture makes you go from feeling like a man in a dress, to feeling like a woman in a dress. The tucking thread has been very popular for that reason. For each of us, we have those particular aspects of our look that need to be just right, otherwise the whole feeling is ruined.
I'd been thinking that "Ooh I'm lucky. I'm a trans woman with a slightly feminine figure" I hadn't thought that the figure is more likely because I'm trans. I hope I got that right.
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Post by Maria on Jul 2, 2021 20:19:11 GMT
With how you looked in the mirror - I think it can be those subtle things that make a difference for trans girls. A slight adjustment in hair, cut of clothes or posture makes you go from feeling like a man in a dress, to feeling like a woman in a dress. The tucking thread has been very popular for that reason. For each of us, we have those particular aspects of our look that need to be just right, otherwise the whole feeling is ruined. I'd been thinking that "Ooh I'm lucky. I'm a trans man with a slightly feminine figure" I hadn't thought that the figure is more likely because I'm trans. I hope I got that right. I think you're right about that. Although I think I would clarify that for me, personally, in this instances I feel like a woman who looks like a man, rather than a man who is trying to look like a woman, if that makes sense? I'm afraid you did not lol. Unless there is a very convoluted backstory that you have kept secret, you are not a trans man. That would mean you were assigned female at birth, but with a male brain On a serious note though, the things I've read about it (and it was a while ago, so I may be remembering incorrectly) say that while there WAS a statistical difference in size between cis male and trans women's hips, the difference (or maybe the study size?) was too small for there to be an actual statistical significance. So it isn't definitely the case that a pre-transition trans woman will have a figure tending slightly more towards the feminine, it's more that there's a fair possibility that that could be the case.
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Post by Lily on Jul 2, 2021 20:51:52 GMT
You're first point, that was poorly worded on my part, I should have said looking rather than feeling. It's a subtle but important difference that I'm adjusting to. A lot of that is to do with that fact that my old way of speaking about myself hasn't quite caught up with how I feel about myself. You describe how I feel, I'm wearing this to be who I am, not to be something different.
Oh dear! What a mistake to mistake. I'm glad I was talking about myself and not anyone else. I'm so tired I got my words mixed up. I think I noticed too but forgot to correct. This can all just be too confusing like adding double negatives. I know you picked up on it but I will edit to correct it.
On that last point, honestly maybe I have just got lucky and inherited more of my body from my mum. The trouble with all this is that we can analyse every little thing that may or may not tell us something about being trans, when actually it's just who we'd be and look like anyway.
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Post by Jessica on Jul 3, 2021 14:57:58 GMT
I don't have any of these things you girls are describing except I do have the finger thing. I knew all about that before actually.
Can you explain the thing you're supposed to try with your arms/hips again?
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Post by Jessica on Jul 3, 2021 14:58:32 GMT
I think my son might end up trans because of me, my brother, and his maternal grandfather have all shown signs of it. I think I did read somewhere that there is a very slight correlation of it running in families (so like if a parent is trans, then there's a very small increase in likelihood of their child being trans). I don't know the numbers, but if it is genetic at all, that has to be a factor right?
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Post by Lily on Jul 3, 2021 15:40:16 GMT
I don't have any of these things you girls are describing except I do have the finger thing. I knew all about that before actually. Can you explain the thing you're supposed to try with your arms/hips again? You put your arms out in front of you, with your palms facing the ceiling. Then you lower them down to your sides with the palms facing forwards. Normally cis male arms will go straight down, and cis female arms will bend out to the side slightly to accomodate the extra hip width. Many trans women also have that bend in their arms. They think this is due to absence of that same hormone burst when gender identity is formed.
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Post by Maria on Jul 3, 2021 16:51:01 GMT
I don't have any of these things you girls are describing except I do have the finger thing. I knew all about that before actually. Can you explain the thing you're supposed to try with your arms/hips again? So I just looked to see if I could find a good comparison picture and this was the best I could find (although I do now know that the scientific term for this is "carrying angle".) Apparently men usually have a carrying angle of 5 degrees, whereas for women it is between 10 and 15 degrees.
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Post by Jessica on Jul 4, 2021 15:15:08 GMT
I definitely went straight down like a dude.
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Post by Lily on Jul 4, 2021 18:10:14 GMT
I definitely went straight down like a dude. Well this clearly means that you are not trans at all, and to think I thought that you were one of us. Your feelings of gender euphoria and envy are irrelevant! Your elbows have told us the real truth! lol jk
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