Post by Lily on Apr 2, 2022 2:53:45 GMT
I came across this Tumblr post via Twitter. It's a trans man's reflections and thoughts on the effects of male socialisation. In particular the non-romantic intimacy that men are allowed to have with other men in Western culture. He writes about the difference he's noticed in now being being treated as a man and no longer as a woman.. I won't try to summarise what he says, you're best off reading his words.
skaldish.tumblr.com/post/680088272285941761/absolutely-because-its-an-extremely-sticky
It is quite early here, but still some thoughts have come to mind with my experience that relate to this.
Firstly I seem to be far more keenly aware of how lonely I feel. This is part of that starvation that he talks about. This awareness comes from the fact that I feel more in tune with inner feelings now, and so what used to be a more muted feeling is now more intense.
Secondly I have been made aware just how unfulfilling and dissatisfying my male friendships have been. That hasn't been as a result of that deeper emotional connection I just mentioned, but just the contrast between the open expression of thoughts and feelings with all of you, and the communication I've had with my male friends. Indeed I was only to make the journey that I did because I had somewhere to express myself without fear of judgement.
Sitting alongside all of that is a comonly recurring thought that I have, as to how segrated our socialisation can be. I reflect on my life and how I had to fall into male social circles, and that in most cases I was expected to make new friends with males, that I was put in their company or they in mine. On top of that, I chose to make male friends because of how much easier it is to make friends with someone of the same gender, or at least perceived gender.
I'd be interested to know your thoughts on this, particularly with regard to the Tumblr post itself.
Lily
skaldish.tumblr.com/post/680088272285941761/absolutely-because-its-an-extremely-sticky
It is quite early here, but still some thoughts have come to mind with my experience that relate to this.
Firstly I seem to be far more keenly aware of how lonely I feel. This is part of that starvation that he talks about. This awareness comes from the fact that I feel more in tune with inner feelings now, and so what used to be a more muted feeling is now more intense.
Secondly I have been made aware just how unfulfilling and dissatisfying my male friendships have been. That hasn't been as a result of that deeper emotional connection I just mentioned, but just the contrast between the open expression of thoughts and feelings with all of you, and the communication I've had with my male friends. Indeed I was only to make the journey that I did because I had somewhere to express myself without fear of judgement.
Sitting alongside all of that is a comonly recurring thought that I have, as to how segrated our socialisation can be. I reflect on my life and how I had to fall into male social circles, and that in most cases I was expected to make new friends with males, that I was put in their company or they in mine. On top of that, I chose to make male friends because of how much easier it is to make friends with someone of the same gender, or at least perceived gender.
I'd be interested to know your thoughts on this, particularly with regard to the Tumblr post itself.
Lily