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Post by angela on Aug 8, 2022 15:58:57 GMT
When I discovered this site a few weeks ago I was really excited, I thought I had really found a site with girls like me who struggled with the woman inside who demanded to be released, but is still repressed for life's circumstances. That is not to make light of your own personal struggles, but as I viewed you pictures I saw beautiful curvaceous women who could pass and be fully accepted as women. And though I am excited for you individual girls. I feel alone and doomed to the status quo. To live a life everyone expects of me while trying to control the girl inside who wants to be acknowledged. And though I am excited for you to be able to live your authentic selves, I feel like there is no one to talk to. I have tried other places of course but the chat room environment doesn't really work for me as trying to break in with my drama into an ongoing conversation about every day life, feels well obtrusive. And I fully realize that this emotional train wreck that I am is very self conscious and in need of too much maintenance. There is the word "needy". Realizing that I am reaching out to others to validate me as a woman and realizing how pathetic that really is. Then there is the part where I feel guilty to ask for this validation from family that I have shared my struggle with. My step sister who knows I will text her on various occasions. If she could just once call me Angela, sis, or hey girl it would mean the world to me but I have never gotten that. And I feel guilty for even caring as she has had her own issues emotionally and physically. My brothers refuse to acknowledge me in that person at all so I embarrassed to bring it up again. Wife's up closet time
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Post by Maria on Aug 8, 2022 16:57:13 GMT
Hi Angela! First of all, I just want to say how sorry I am that you feel alone, and that others in your life aren't accepting of who you are and what you need.
Starting at the beginning of what you say, I should point out that pretty much every photo posted on this forum has been through FaceApp, photoshop, or in some cases both! A lot of us have avatars that are taken from online and aren't of us at all. So while they do paint a very flattering view of us, they (unfortunately) aren't real! Along those lines, I know that I (and others) tend to very often use the background filter to change where it looks the photo was taken. So while it may appear that we are out in the world living our best lives as our authentic selves... for me very often they were actually taken in the bathroom or kitchen, and then digitally altered to make it look more interesting.
You mention not being able to live as your authentic self - that is something that we all struggle with, and you're right that that is exactly the point of this forum. The amount of time we are each able to live as our authentic selves varies between members. I am lucky in a sense, that I live alone a lot of the time and therefore do have the freedom to dress as I would wish and not have to hide myself a lot more often. But at the other end of the scale, there are members whose spouses would not be at all supportive, who maybe only get the chance for a few hours a few times per year. None of us are "out" in our day to day lives, so for all of us, the vast majority of the time we are having to put on the act of being the person those around us expect, rather than freely being who we truly are.
From what you have said, I don't think you are needy or an emotional train-wreck at all. Not to say that I know how you feel better than you do (of course that would be impossible!) but I know from experience that realising and/or knowing this about yourself is enough to turn anyone's world upside down. It is basically living a double life. And that is a mentally and emotionally draining thing to do. Being seen and valued as who we really are is a fundamental human need, so to be deprived of that for a number of years will doubtless take a toll. And seeking out a community that will do those things is in no way pathetic, in fact I would say that it is more a sign of strength, putting a piece of yourself out there into the world in order to have those innate needs fulfilled. Again, that is one of the things that I think we have all found invaluable about this place, is that it is somewhere where we know we will be accepted, and we can talk and interact with the correct name, being known as the correct gender, and without having to analyse every single thing we say to make sure it won't "give the game away".
I hope you will stick around, you might be surprised how many similarities there are between us all after all!
Maria
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Post by Lily on Aug 8, 2022 17:08:26 GMT
Hi Angela,
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time of it. The need for family and other loved ones to acknowledge who you are is so very important. You shouldn't feel guilty or that you are needy, being a woman is a core part of who you are, and so wanting to have that acknowledged is not very much to ask and expect of others.
Those photos you have seen of us. None of us actually look like that, almost all the photos have gone through Faceapp or other software to make us look like the women we are inside. The only untouched photos I think are those where we've cropped our head out. None of us here are on any form of hormone treatment, and none of us have received any surgery either. We are all closeted, none of us live openly as women, and each of us are only out to one or two loved ones.
Whenever you are able, please feel free to share whatever you'd like to. We'd be glad to read it and offer any support and advice that we can.
Lily
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Post by chloé on Aug 9, 2022 5:42:33 GMT
Hi Angela, here I can be Chloé and I make photos via faceapp and photoshop as accurate as possible with my male face which is gender swapped. I can affirm that my wife can recognize me in those photos. but those are only photos which create an alternative life. And here, on the website Chloé is alive and accepted as a woman and sister. I can do some for you if it helps 😉. here you can be yourself. For my part ut helps me so much to be with my sisters. Chloé 💋💋💋💋❤️❤️😘🇫🇷
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Post by chloé on Aug 9, 2022 5:44:39 GMT
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Post by Jessica on Aug 9, 2022 13:02:16 GMT
Angela!
Welcome to the forum! I am hard up for time because I have to get to work, but I'll just say that you have found your home. As Maria said, all of our pictures are either face-app'ed or straight up stolen. They are all, more or less, a fantasy. None of us are able to present the way we would like. We all struggle in similar ways to yours. That is what this site is for! Welcome home.
We've developed into a small community and much of our discussion takes place on messages. We hope you'll stick around!
If I may ask, are you based out of Europe, North America or somewhere else?
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