Post by Maria on Oct 17, 2022 20:55:00 GMT
This past Saturday, I went out to watch a local gig. A friend of mine was singing in it, and for once being out and around other people felt preferable to being home alone. I stayed for a few hours once it was over too, and over the course of the night everybody ended up decidedly the worst for wear. Apart from me, sitting there casually sipping on my diet Cokes lol.
But I noticed as the night went on and people got more intoxicated, the way that they treated me changed. It started out with someone mansplaining playing guitar to me, despite me having told him that I play lead guitar in a band at least 3 times. Then a while later, I was chatting at the bar with one of my best friends and a couple of other people, and at a point in the conversation he (I'm trying to think how to explain this is a way that sums it up well) put his arm out for me to come in for a cuddle. Not in a bro-hug sort of way, much more in the exact way you would expect a guy to give an affectionate hug to a close female friend. Not too long after that, people had shifted around a bit, so that at my end of the bar there was me and 2 of the women. They knew I was there, and while I wasn't included in the conversation, they went into fair detail about... issues that only people born with female anatomy would be affected by. The sort of conversation that I would not in a million years expect women to have (or be comfortable having) with a guy around.
It just made me wonder as I was driving home. Obviously alcohol can bring out the worst in people. But in this situation perhaps where they had got to the stage where logical brain had begun to shut down, were they instead of (like usual) going "this is what society and previous encounters have told me you are, so that is how I will treat you", were their minds basically going "you feel (energy/aura/that kind of thing if you believe in it) female, so THAT'S how I'll treat you"?
It was just strange, but in a good way. That despite me presenting male and being fully sober (so keeping the mask in place as much as I ever do) by the end of the night pretty much everyone was just treating me like a woman, just of their own volition. Which... yay š But also... questions š
But I noticed as the night went on and people got more intoxicated, the way that they treated me changed. It started out with someone mansplaining playing guitar to me, despite me having told him that I play lead guitar in a band at least 3 times. Then a while later, I was chatting at the bar with one of my best friends and a couple of other people, and at a point in the conversation he (I'm trying to think how to explain this is a way that sums it up well) put his arm out for me to come in for a cuddle. Not in a bro-hug sort of way, much more in the exact way you would expect a guy to give an affectionate hug to a close female friend. Not too long after that, people had shifted around a bit, so that at my end of the bar there was me and 2 of the women. They knew I was there, and while I wasn't included in the conversation, they went into fair detail about... issues that only people born with female anatomy would be affected by. The sort of conversation that I would not in a million years expect women to have (or be comfortable having) with a guy around.
It just made me wonder as I was driving home. Obviously alcohol can bring out the worst in people. But in this situation perhaps where they had got to the stage where logical brain had begun to shut down, were they instead of (like usual) going "this is what society and previous encounters have told me you are, so that is how I will treat you", were their minds basically going "you feel (energy/aura/that kind of thing if you believe in it) female, so THAT'S how I'll treat you"?
It was just strange, but in a good way. That despite me presenting male and being fully sober (so keeping the mask in place as much as I ever do) by the end of the night pretty much everyone was just treating me like a woman, just of their own volition. Which... yay š But also... questions š