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Post by Lily on Mar 18, 2023 15:40:18 GMT
I'll get this out of the way first. This thread won't contain any photos of me. Also this isn't a huge deal, it's more that I wanted to get it off my chest.
I've had enough of seeing pre-lockdown and current pics side-by-side now. There's a whole load of them on my Twitter feed and, given who I follow, almost all of them go from pre-transition to beautiful/pretty/cute women.
Not critising them at all, and certainly not saying they shouldn't. I get it, they're proud of what they've achieved and want to share. I also know that those are confident in how they look now are more likely to post than those that aren't. I just don't need the reminder of what I could be, or perhaps in my case can never be. By that I mean that I mean I won't ever look like a cute or beautiful young woman because I'm not young.
While on this subject I don't think I'll be sharing pre-transition pics of myself. I get the feeling that I'll want people to focus on who I am then, and not my life before.
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Post by Jessica on Mar 19, 2023 13:19:01 GMT
Oh man, I love them. I love seeing what people have achieved. But I get it from your perspective. As someone who never plans to transition, I live vicariously through them. But from your perspective as someone who actually plans to do it, I can see why it would be frustrating.
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Post by Lily on Mar 19, 2023 15:31:26 GMT
It's one of those odd things. I follow lots of trans women on Twitter and I love seeing them as they are now, and of course I know that they didn't used to look like that. The lockdown aspect is also a factor. Many many trans folk discovered they were trans during lockdown and here I was still repressed and oblivious. That adds to the feeling of "that could've been me already"
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Post by Maria on Mar 29, 2023 12:47:28 GMT
I find for me it depends on my mood as to whether I like seeing them or not. If I'm in a good place, then I love seeing them as feeling happy for whoever it is that posted it. If I'm having more of a down day though... not so much. Then the reaction is more one of jealousy and resentment for the fact that it's them not me.
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Post by Jessica on Mar 29, 2023 13:12:37 GMT
I get that. For me, since I don't intend to ever transition and for the most part am happy with that decision, I come from a different perspective.
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Post by Lily on Apr 1, 2023 10:25:02 GMT
It is something about the before and after aspect for me. I know and meet many trans women at RTrans, and follow a fair few other trans women on Twitter. Obviously I know that they didn't always look as feminine as they do now, but I guess it's not in front of me. In the instances I brought up it was also the specific time period they were quoting, which included lockdown when lots of eggs cracked. Lots of eggs, but not mine Also they're all so much younger than me. Whereas I'm focusing on being the best middle-aged trans woman I can be, there are occaisonally those thoughts of what I might have looked like at their age, had I transitioned in my 20s or early 30s.
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Post by Jessica on Apr 1, 2023 16:19:06 GMT
Yeah, I totally get that for sure. That is not fun, that helpless feeling.
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Post by Maria on Apr 10, 2023 15:34:33 GMT
Yeah I can understand that. Out of interest, do you find you have the same level of reaction if it's not expressly from the lockdown period? If it's a more general "this is what I used to look like, and this is what I look like now"? Of course some of the aspects you mention would still remain, but that specific trigger of knowing that you took a little longer to reach the knowledge rather than hitting it at that time like some others did would be gone?
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Post by Lily on Apr 10, 2023 22:56:37 GMT
The lockdown aspect is a factor. The other more general posts have a lot less impact on me. In those cases it's not an issue at all.
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