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Post by Lily on Jun 26, 2023 22:06:28 GMT
Last week saw the release of a new game of one of my favourite franchises, Final Fantasy XVI. It's on the PS5 which I haven't got. Also I can't play 2-handed games on account of the issues in my left arm and hand. As a result I've been watching of my favourite streamers, Yunalescka, play it instead.
Now by all accounts there are some really hot male characters. She and lots of her audience seem to think so, and for myself I can understand why they feel that way. All have great bodies, handsome faces, and attractive voices. However it's really struck me just how disinterested I am in them in that type of way. I have zero interest in being embraced, kissed etc, by any of them. My eyes are drawn to all the beautiful/hot/cute women in the game, with all the usual mix of wanting them as my girlfriend, wishing I looked that way and wanting to wear what they are.
I have discussed on here before about thinking that if I kept the fact I'm trans hidden from myself, that perhaps there was part of my sexuality that I hid too. During a recent gathering of RTrans, one of the young women came out with the statistic that 40% of trans women find out they are attracted to men after thinking that they weren't. Another one spoke up and said that had happened to her. Therefore it all made sense that I be open to being of those too, and explore that. However I really can confidently say that I'm not.
So thanks Clive, Cid and all the other hot dudes of Final Fantasy XVI. I can now definitely say I'm a lesbian.
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Post by Maria on Jun 27, 2023 9:25:28 GMT
I'd imagine that having been open to idea that it might happen and then realising that it's not the case is almost as valuable as if it had been - you now know who you are with more certainty, and won't be wondering going forwards.
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Post by Jessica on Jun 27, 2023 13:03:02 GMT
That is one less change to deal with!
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Post by Lily on Jun 27, 2023 21:03:51 GMT
I'd imagine that having been open to idea that it might happen and then realising that it's not the case is almost as valuable as if it had been - you now know who you are with more certainty, and won't be wondering going forwards. Very much so. Any possible indicators I've had have actually been indicators about my gender rather than my sexuality. The woman that came out with statistic, she's called Liv by the way, gave an example of not knowing for sure if you didn't like something until you tried the very best. Her example was some kind of food. Though I don't completely agree with that extreme, she has a point in that it should at least be high quality, whatever it is. I think that's what I had with watching that game. There were an awful lot of women finding Clive and Cid extremely hot, and they did absolutely nothing for me. Also it wasn't only their looks they also exhibit very positive personality traits too, so it wasn't that I was put off by that aspect
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Post by Lily on Jun 27, 2023 21:05:29 GMT
That is one less change to deal with! I hadn't been thinking of it that way, but now you say that it's a relief. A girl can only cope with so much change.
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Post by Jessica on Jun 28, 2023 13:00:11 GMT
That is one less change to deal with! I hadn't been thinking of it that way, but now you say that it's a relief. A girl can only cope with so much change. And I imagine you're pushing the limit these days!
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Post by Lily on Jul 2, 2023 1:38:50 GMT
I stopped watching the streams of that game by the way. It became a bit too grim. I'll explain how. It's set in a fictional world, where people that have magic are treated as less than human. They are traded as slaves, with all the ramifications of that. They are called branded because they are given a brand/tattoo on their face, so that everyone can see who they are. They are seen as so sub-human that most mothers are glad that their babies are taken away from them. Their thinking being who'd want a baby like that.
Anyway there was a series of sidequests where you get to learn all of this. As the streamer did these back-to-back it was unrelentingly dark. The streamer was appalled as to how they were treated, so it wasn't that she was enjoying or ignoring it.
I couldn't help but see some parallels between that and how trans folk are seen, because let's face it there's an awful lot of people in both the UK and US who see us as sub-human, and given half a chance would treat us in the same way.
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Post by Maria on Jul 2, 2023 11:35:22 GMT
Ugh, that does sound VERY dark. And not at all what's needed right now. I mean probably an important thing to show and to create a talking point, but equally I agree that it would be off-putting for people who need something a little less heavy! Do you think you'll resume watching once they've passed that section? Or knowing what you now do, is that always going to come back to you and put a damper on the whole thing?
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Post by Lily on Jul 2, 2023 13:33:11 GMT
I've missed a lot so would need to go back. The streamer lives in Canada so it's not always possible to catch live, and watching recordings of streams isn't the same
I'd like to play it eventually, just a small matter of buying a PS5, and my hand getting better
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Post by Jessica on Jul 2, 2023 13:49:48 GMT
That is no fun at all.
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