Post by Lily on Jul 15, 2023 10:23:22 GMT
Really wasn't sure where to post this, didn't seem to quite fit as a just part of a general chat.
I feel stuck inside at the moment. Trying to work out whether I feel worse feeling like that, or feeling uncomfortable being out presenting as male.
I do not feel ready to begin presenting as female in public. This is because I haven't got quite used to wearing those clothes. I barely get a chance to wear these at home and when I do I just never know for how long I'm safe to do so. I never have long enough, and even then there is always the worry that I might be seen, and the actual knowledge that it's just temporary. Having to change in and out of clothes is tiring mentally and emotionally. A lot of the time I just don't bother.
There is a local trans group that I'm a part of, but I'm unable to really enjoy being out with them because I'm presenting male, feeling so awkward. Another issue is that I feel so drab and unattractive in the clothes I'm wearing while they're in their nice dresses, looking good with new hair-dos and pretty make-up.
Another issue with that is that there is the opportunity to get changed while that group has its monthly meet-ups. However June's got cancelled due to a staff shortage, and I missed out on this month's due to issues with sleep.
I am trying to get the situation at home moving along so that I can come out to my nephew, with whom I share our home. Unfortunately as you regulars will know, that matter is being hampered by a delicate and complicated situation with his mother, who I've just come out to. Annoyingly he is in an out of the house a lot, with no standard pattern of when he's out and for how long. Therefore I just don't know just how long it's safe for me, so I can never properly relax into my clothes.
Earlier this week while in bed thinking about all of this, I got so frustrated I just wanted to put a dress and take a walk around the block, just something, anything to allay the feeling of being a prisoner in the male-presenting clothes I wear.
I just want to get to the point where I can where whatever I like in my home.
I feel stuck inside at the moment. Trying to work out whether I feel worse feeling like that, or feeling uncomfortable being out presenting as male.
I do not feel ready to begin presenting as female in public. This is because I haven't got quite used to wearing those clothes. I barely get a chance to wear these at home and when I do I just never know for how long I'm safe to do so. I never have long enough, and even then there is always the worry that I might be seen, and the actual knowledge that it's just temporary. Having to change in and out of clothes is tiring mentally and emotionally. A lot of the time I just don't bother.
There is a local trans group that I'm a part of, but I'm unable to really enjoy being out with them because I'm presenting male, feeling so awkward. Another issue is that I feel so drab and unattractive in the clothes I'm wearing while they're in their nice dresses, looking good with new hair-dos and pretty make-up.
Another issue with that is that there is the opportunity to get changed while that group has its monthly meet-ups. However June's got cancelled due to a staff shortage, and I missed out on this month's due to issues with sleep.
I am trying to get the situation at home moving along so that I can come out to my nephew, with whom I share our home. Unfortunately as you regulars will know, that matter is being hampered by a delicate and complicated situation with his mother, who I've just come out to. Annoyingly he is in an out of the house a lot, with no standard pattern of when he's out and for how long. Therefore I just don't know just how long it's safe for me, so I can never properly relax into my clothes.
Earlier this week while in bed thinking about all of this, I got so frustrated I just wanted to put a dress and take a walk around the block, just something, anything to allay the feeling of being a prisoner in the male-presenting clothes I wear.
I just want to get to the point where I can where whatever I like in my home.