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Post by Jessica on Jun 19, 2021 7:21:00 GMT
So as this site has slowly gained users, I have been surprised to find out that most people on here have told some folks (wives, significant others, etc) about their secret. Especially when it comes to wives/girlfriends I am really surprised so many have spilled the beans. I have told exactly one, very carefully chosen person that I know in real life. She is not my wife, nor is she related to me. And I believe it will stay that way.
It is really too bad that we all feel we need to hide this part of ourselves from the world. Someone pointed out in a different thread that there is a double standard when it comes to this. Women are encouraged to act more "manly" in a lot of ways while men acting feminine is usually considered shameful. A woman can wear mens clothes publicly and get away with it. It doesn't work in reverse. To be far to our cis-female friends, this is one of the few double standards that works in their favor lol.
All that said, I think another thing that we need to acknowledge is the toll that keeping this secret has on a person. It simply takes a lot of mental and physical energy to constantly be denying a part of yourself and keep a secret. Its rough. And it sucks. But for some of us, it is just the way it has to be.
Consider yourselves lucky that at least we live in an age where we have the internet and can reach each other I guess.
Hugs, Jess
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Post by Lily on Jun 21, 2021 0:26:53 GMT
I really wonder how my life might have turned out if our societies were accepting of us. It's taken me decades to completely overcome my internalised transphobia, but even then I am restricted. A lot of my feelings as to what I would really like to be and do are still framed around navigating what everyone else's reaction will be. I think that I just want to dress up in private and not in public, but the decision might simply be that I don't want to face ridicule, humiliation and violence. If there's one sure way for a man to get any of those three reactions, it is to appear feminine.
I've been through one of the biggest life experiences I'll ever have these past few days, and the family I live with haven't got the slightest idea. I'm having to sneak about and probably lie to them, just so I can get the clothes I'd like to wear. Even after I get them, I'll have to carry on with the sneaking and lying just so that I can be the full person that I am.
One of the strong emotions I had on Thursday was one of intense anger. I was seething with rage directed at the world that doesn't let us simply be ourselves, that forces us to keep these secrets of ours.
Hugs to you too,
Woori-Mei
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