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Post by Lily on Jul 4, 2021 9:23:01 GMT
A fundamental part of this forum is that not only are we trans girls, but also that we are closeted. As you all know this places a burden on us with is difficult to bear on our own. As you may have picked up I live with my sister and her adult son. Throughout my recent self-discovery, I have shared with you all my thoughts and feelings, the highs and the lows. In all this I have been acutely aware that neither of my two housemates have got the slightest idea what I've been going through. I've told my sister I've been having a hard time. but not the reason for that. Fortunately she hasn't inquired further. She keeps her affairs very private, so she respects that I wish to do so too. You have all given me tremendous support in these 2 and a half weeks, but there is a limit to the support you can give me. The same way that I am limited to give you the support you might need. As a result I have found myself gaining little bits and pieces of support from my sister, but without her knowing the full reason. I'll list some examples - - I wanted something in particular to store my female attire in. So I just asked her about general clothes storage. She found something suitable online, and pointed me to it
- I wanted to get my proper bust and waist measurements. So I asked her for a tape measure explaining that I wanted to buy some clothes online and so wanted to make sure I was getting the right size. After struggling a bit to do so on my own, I asked her to help
- You may recall that I mentioned that my nephew almost caught me earlier in the week. I thought that a "Do Not Disturb" sign could be used to prevent further near-misses. My sister is quite the craftswoman so rather than buy one, I asked if she could make me one instead
Though these are minor and somewhat trivial, it has been nice to have at least some practical support from a loved one in this. That even though she doesn't know my full motivation for it, that she is helping me a little in all this. In the perfect world, she would be doing much more that this of course. The obvious example being that she could help me do my hair and make-up. However I think I will have to keep my secret from her for a long time to come, perhaps even forever. Do any of you have examples of someone supporting you in your hidden life without knowing your secret?
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Post by Jessica on Jul 4, 2021 15:32:36 GMT
Great question. I cannot think of an example of this. But I have kept so crazily closeted. I keep my stash in a rented storage locker, have an entirely separate laptop for this stuff, and try to keep my two lives separated so much that there just wouldn't be much opportunity. I wouldn't have the balls (ovaries?) to do even the things you said you were doing.
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Post by Lily on Jul 4, 2021 17:07:07 GMT
It hasn't been that significant, because in a way they all fit together in a manner that doesn't imply what the reason is. I'm wanting to sort my wardrobe out, and am also looking at buying new clothes. She knows I'm having a hard time of it at the moment and so knows I don't want to be disturbed. It's all been incidental not some plan, but I have felt that she can at least help her little sister I think one of the reasons I've been able to do so is because I seriously underestimate what would actually happen if they found out. I almost feel like leaving a note in where I store my clothes, should they actually find it. Don't know what that note would say mind you.
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Post by Maria on Jul 4, 2021 19:16:21 GMT
I can't think of anything really at the moment - living as a single adult means that I do have more freedom to do things, but also no one immediately around to help with anything.
The nearest I've thought of is a good friend of mine. He's straight, but quite flamboyant, and will often greet people by saying "hello darling." While he (like the rest of the people who know me in person) doesn't know the truth about me, and he says it to everyone, it does feel wonderfully affirming when he says it to me š
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Post by Jessica on Jul 5, 2021 16:10:20 GMT
I can't think of anything really at the moment - living as a single adult means that I do have more freedom to do things, but also no one immediately around to help with anything. The nearest I've thought of is a good friend of mine. He's straight, but quite flamboyant, and will often greet people by saying "hello darling." While he (like the rest of the people who know me in person) doesn't know the truth about me, and he says it to everyone, it does feel wonderfully affirming when he says it to me š I have never meant a straight man who seriously uses the word "darling" haha.
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Post by Jessica on Jul 5, 2021 16:12:23 GMT
In fact I don't think I've ever met a gay man who uses the word darling.
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Post by Lily on Jul 5, 2021 17:16:56 GMT
In the UK It's quite common for a straight man to call a woman darling, sometimes in a friendly way, sometimes in a chatting-up situation and sometimes quite patronisingly. Most women will rightfully respond, or at least think "I'm not your darling".
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Post by chloƩ on Jul 5, 2021 18:42:24 GMT
The translation of darling is chĆ©rie and used only between husband with his wife, and when it is used by a man in the street to a woman he doesnāt know, it is strictly impolite.
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Post by Maria on Jul 5, 2021 19:18:53 GMT
The translation of darling is chĆ©rie and used only between husband with his wife, and when it is used by a man in the street to a woman he doesnāt know, it is strictly impolite. Oh he only says it to friends, and male friends at that. He's a lovely guy, so wouldn't want to say something that would make anyone feel uncomfortable.
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Post by Jessica on Jul 5, 2021 20:42:43 GMT
In the UK It's quite common for a straight man to call a woman darling, sometimes in a friendly way, sometimes in a chatting-up situation and sometimes quite patronisingly. Most women will rightfully respond, or at least think "I'm not your darling".
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Post by Jessica on Jul 5, 2021 20:43:10 GMT
The translation of darling is chĆ©rie and used only between husband with his wife, and when it is used by a man in the street to a woman he doesnāt know, it is strictly impolite. I am learning so much in this thread!
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Post by Jessica on Jul 5, 2021 20:43:50 GMT
In the UK It's quite common for a straight man to call a woman darling, sometimes in a friendly way, sometimes in a chatting-up situation and sometimes quite patronisingly. Most women will rightfully respond, or at least think "I'm not your darling". Just realized none of you will get that reference because it is an American TV thing.
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Post by Maria on Aug 23, 2021 18:48:41 GMT
While not necessarily support as such, this is probably as close as I will get to that, so I'm rolling with it lol. A few days ago it was my birthday, and I had asked for some new earbuds, as the bluetooth earphones I had before had a habit of trying to strangle me (and also were very cheap...) Now the reason that this idea came to me was that I'd seen a particular brand advertised a lot on LGBT YouTube channels - and in fact had never seen them advertised anywhere else! So to my mind, they are my LGBT earbuds And to my parents who very kindly gifted them to me, they have no such relevance whatsoever - they are just earbuds that I had come across somewhere and decided I would like!
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Post by Lily on Aug 23, 2021 19:56:29 GMT
While not necessarily support as such, this is probably as close as I will get to that, so I'm rolling with it lol. A few days ago it was my birthday, and I had asked for some new earbuds, as the bluetooth earphones I had before had a habit of trying to strangle me (and also were very cheap...) Now the reason that this idea came to me was that I'd seen a particular brand advertised a lot on LGBT YouTube channels - and in fact had never seen them advertised anywhere else! So to my mind, they are my LGBT earbuds And to my parents who very kindly gifted them to me, they have no such relevance whatsoever - they are just earbuds that I had come across somewhere and decided I would like! That's a nice present, I think it still counts as supporting your LGBT-ness, they don't know but you do. Don't think I didn't notice that you mentioned that it was your birthday the other day. It's a bit late of course but
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Post by Kelli Ann on Aug 24, 2021 2:05:28 GMT
Sandi are you sure that your sister doesnāt suspect what you are going through? She may know but because of her love for you she is respecting your privacy. You never know she may be very accepting and supportive of you. You may want to consider coming out to her. It may take a load off of your emotions.
I found out about 2 years ago that I actually have a half sister living in California. Her and I plan on meeting one day and sometimes talk on messenger. She is very liberal and seems very cool. I feel like I could let my secret out to her and she would be thrilled to know that she has a trans brother.
Happy Belated Birthday Maria! I checked out those LGBTQ earbuds and they all look very cool.
Huggs,
Kelli
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