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Post by Lily on Jul 4, 2021 18:46:56 GMT
One of the reasons I never considered myself as trans was because of the absence of any signs of gender dysphoria. I never felt trapped in a man's body or hated to look any part of me because it wasn't female. That remains the case even now I have accepted I am trans. However I haven't ever properly tried to appear like a woman, but that could be irrelevant. I have felt discomfort from wearing my guy clothes, but only since accepting my trans nature.
On the flip side however, I have experienced an intense hit of gender euphoria, and would like to look like the woman that is at least part of me.
I am not concerned by the absence or lack of gender dysphoria now, because I know am trans. I am now more curious than anything else, wondering if this absence could give me a greater understanding of my trans nature.
Does anyone have any thoughts on either the general subject of gender dysphoria, or its general absence in myself?
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Post by Maria on Jul 4, 2021 19:49:54 GMT
I know that it is quite common for people who come to realise that they are trans after having no idea for X number of years, to suddenly start experiencing gender dysphoria after never having had it before. Like accepting that part of themself gave their brain permission to stop hiding how it really felt about those things, if that makes sense. Or else there will be things where you look back and go "oh wait, that was GD?" Maybe do some googling on that, and see if bits of other peoples' stories resonate with you. Like I would have said that I never experienced it until I really thought about it and then realised that yes, I really, really did. I was always jealous of the fact women got to have breasts and wished men could have them too. Wishing part of your body is different - GD. I would also wish that I had downstairs lady parts instead of what men have. From all the jokes and comments people make about how much more aesthetically pleasing lady parts are than male parts, I thought this was fairly universal. Nope š I've said it before but... how lacking in self-awareness am I that it took me 26 years to realise I'm trans
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Post by Lily on Jul 4, 2021 20:06:11 GMT
That's kind of what I've been thinking, that I just never "felt" it. Maybe I have wanted breasts but interpreted it more as sexual attraction. I'll do some research as you suggest.
It definitely is the clothes aspect for me. Not liking to wear men's clothes so much now. I'm definitely feeling more like a woman in the wrong clothes, than in the wrong body.
I've mentioned before that my upper torso is not unfeminine, particularly if I was to completely remove all the hair from it. That may be why I'm not that dissatisfied with it now. I feel some dyshporia with my hair and face, but I've probably just noticed it there because that's what I see in the mirror. If my chest was exposed most of the day I may well notice it there too.
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Post by Maria on Jul 5, 2021 9:19:09 GMT
Different people experience it in different ways too. Like for some, they will feel fine wearing whatever clothes as they feel that they are just garments serving a purpose and have no bearing on who they are as a person, but then will feel acute discomfort any time they think about what is hidden beneath their clothes. For others, they are comfortable with their body and the discomfort comes from how they present to the world - things like clothes - and in how others perceive and treat them. And for others still, it's both!
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Post by Lily on Jul 5, 2021 9:43:49 GMT
What you've said has been really helpful Maria. I clearly had a lack of understanding before I came here about what gender dysphoria was, thinking it was only discomfort about the body.
I think I fall into that second category you mention. That would explain my apparent lack of gender dyshporia before I accepted I was trans. The aspect around appearance only manifesting itself in my attraction and desire to wear female attire, more than a clear unhappiness as to wearing male attire. I think any gender dysphoria I'd feel about my body would come when I really wanted to present myself as female to others.
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Post by Maria on Jul 5, 2021 9:57:41 GMT
What you've said has been really helpful Maria. I clearly had a lack of understanding before I came here about what gender dysphoria was, thinking it was only discomfort about the body. I think I fall into that second category you mention. That would explain my apparent lack of gender dyshporia before I accepted I was trans. The aspect around appearance only manifesting itself in my attraction and desire to wear female attire, more than a clear unhappiness as to wearing male attire. I think any gender dysphoria I'd feel about my body would come when I really wanted to present myself as female to others. Glad it helped Another thing that I've read that might be useful here is another way of viewing dysphoria, rather than the more widely discussed feelings of distress around body parts. It was discussing who felt no distress over having a male part, but just wished that they had female parts instead. Even though there was no angst, that feeling of wanting to change it - also dysphoria, just manifesting in a different way.
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Post by Jessica on Jul 5, 2021 16:23:31 GMT
I have always defined dysphoria as just the feeling of feeling out of place in your gender. You don't have to feel specifically like "a woman in a man's body". It is all sorts of things. Maybe that isn't the clinical definition but for me its.
-Seeing an attractive lady and imagining what it is like to be her. -Changing your behavior in a social interaction to better match your biological gender. -A feeling of longing, or wishing you were doing something else while doing regular tasks like dressing or showering or whatever.
Stuff like that. It hits in bursts and waves. That is how I see it.
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